3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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