Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
