Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
