Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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