a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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