ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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