yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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