now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
