Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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