hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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