her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
