No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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