You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
