we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
