This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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