he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
