you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
