Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
