there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
