You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I hate all girls vehemently.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
