Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
