so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
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