i barfeds in our rink
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
