Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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