i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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