I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
