Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You're a waste of cheezeits
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
