so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
