And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
