Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
