Having a random hookup so left but love u
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
