I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Randomize
