I wish I could teleport
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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