is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
