i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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