My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
