The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
