): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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