bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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