If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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