I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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