I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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