we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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