Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Life is so much better after having sex.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
