he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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