sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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