We won't sleep together?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
