My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
