So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
DRUNK COOKIES
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