No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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