Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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